Goop. Really.

I had been avoiding this for a long time, but I finally decided I should check out Gwyneth Paltrow's "lifestyle" advice blog, GOOP. Yes. That is what it is called.  A real blogger would do some research and find out why the HELL its name sounds like a Robin Williams movie, but I am really just writing this because I am bored and there is very little interesting about my life right now.

You see, I thought I should check this out, because I think Gwyneth and I have a lot in common.  We are both blondes. We are both relatively tall. My mother also appeared in the Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants 2.  Yeah, Blythe Danner is an Emmy and Tony award-winning actress, but because I have an aversion to research right now, a low-grossing sequel that I TOTALLY SAW is all that is coming to mind. I will probably not marry the front man of alt-rock group, because I am still under the impression that men that wear tighter pants than I are gay. I will probably not name my child after a fruit. Instead, I will choose a terrible trendy name that my parents will totally hate, like Madison. 

Despite those minor differences, I was sure I could learn from GOOP, because I am an impressionable young teenager, and I am supposed to model myself after those skinny beautiful people on-screen. 

I automatically LOVED this website because it has an annoying but calming intro. It encouraged me to "nourish my inner aspect." 

No. Just no. What does that even mean?

Exploring the site, Gwyneth shares a lovely cookie recipe that she received when her BFF Kathy Lee Joel and her charming husband "William" came over for dinner.  Yes, in Gwyneth Paltrow's world, Billy Joel is William. Seriously. In another section, she directly asks me if I am "stuck in a feedback loop of tension and unrest." Obviously. I then get the details of her post-holidays detox diet. Which I needed. Um, gross.

So in the end, I think I am a better person for having explored GOOP. I think I've written the longest post ever on this blog, and it wasn't even about me. It's about someone who writes an advice blog...someone who thought making Shallow Hal was a good idea. 

In the world I actually live in, today I hung out with the friend I've had since second grade and went to swim practice. It doesn't provide for extremely entertaining blogs, but I'm pretty sure friend A is way more fun to hang out with than William Joel. 

Sometimes I'm So Artistic I Annoy Even Myself

I'm lazy. I feel as all of you, as my readers, deserve more from me. 

Sorry. I'm totally catching you up on my life via haiku. 

It's hot suddenly

I ride the Metro a lot

people are creepy?

Not that I've had any encounters with said creepy people to cause any sort of concern.  I know you all worry. I just stare at them quizzically and make sure they feel far more uncomfortable than I do. 

"Part of Your World" from the Little Mermaid just came up on my iPod. It made me consider my goals in life.  It also made me wonder how mermaids pee. 

I know. 

But I can prove I HAVE been productive this summer! I'm researching multiple articles, but I took a little break and wrote a highlight on the Target Women video series, and it's now on the WIFP website! 

I also changed my template because:

1. I'm bored 

and...

2. I'm a SOPHOMORE now!

Feminist LOLs?

I know, it's been awhile...again. It's 1 a.m and I should go to sleep. But can I just point out how much I LOVE Bitch Magazine's blog? Why?

Because it gives me things like this at which to giggle:

Yeah, that's right. AT WHICH TO GIGGLE. 

Oh, So THIS is What Making Money Feels Like

This morning I woke up to my 7:30 a.m. alarm, groaned, and tried to plot ways for me to be able to go back to sleep.  I thought not showering was an option and I stumbled over to the mirror. EEK! No dice there. Then I thought to myself:

"Stop being such a wimp, SUCK IT UP, WOMAN!" 

I actually thought this in much harsher, not blog friendly terminology. I am so very nice to myself, it's really no wonder that I have such rocking self-esteem. 

I babysat for a new family this morning. This is something I said I would never do.  But then I realized I had no money. For the first time ever, really, I babysat a little girl. Which was nice and easy and all. But the fact of the matter is I pledged my loyalty to my favorite team long ago. I've been babysitting them so long, it was extremely difficult to adjust to a babysitting experience WITHOUT epic light-saber battles. I usually don't know who or what they are talking about when we're playing Star Wars, so usually they just tell me to be Obi-Wan and I'm set. Because I may not know Star Wars very well, but I love me some Ewan McGregor. So, I was relieved when I got to sit for them today. 

I did, however, see Star Trek recently.  I liked it, because I actually appreciated the escapism of space travel and the complexities of the interwoven realities. Oh, and Chris Pine is kind of adorable. Zachary Quinto, who played Spock, was attractive...I guess. But I could never be with a man who shapes his eyebrows. 

I realize that the coming of summer has removed any sort of depth or self-reflection from my blog. I have overly referenced the appearances of men. So un-feminista of me. But, you know it's still me because I whine about getting up early and I continue to use the word "epic" inappropriately. 

But I am LOVING it. 

Back In the Swim of Things

You know it's going to be a great post when I start off with cheesy word-play. 

As I write this I'm watching game one of the Stanley Cup finals, Penguins vs. Red Wings. I am, of course, rooting for the Red Wings because they eliminated the Caps. Through this justification I am pretending that I know anything about ice hockey. I generally watch hockey so I can watch people skate amazingly well and also listen to announcers talk about guys who sound far more Scandinavian than me. 

Oh, and for the record, Sidney Crosby is not physically attractive. Media, stop trying to tell me he is! Creepy half-mustaches are not going to make the NHL more marketable!

Oh, and if I'm going to be discussing attractiveness, hey, U.S. Postal Service? Why did you have to put my copy of this week's Sports Illustrated through what looks like a hurricane? Tom Brady's face does not deserve such treatment!

All right, back to the reality in which I actually participate. Claire and I randomly decided to exercise our ability to join the swim team one last year, and we started practice this week. It's strange, not coaching, but so far I'm liking it, even though getting back in shape can be all sorts of painful. 

Wednesday a bunch of the girls went out to the Cheesecake Factory (which generally stretches beyond our budgets) to celebrate friend C's birthday and the arrival of summer. The size of those dishes are absolutely mind-blowing. By the end we were all kind of curled up in our round booth, groaning...half happy, half mortified. It was still amazingly fun chatting with everyone again, because spirited, pseudo-intellectual arguments/conversations are what we like best!

Please forgive the extensive use of exclamation points in this post. Sometimes I have trouble controlling my natural inclinations towards fulfilling blonde stereotypes. 

Now, Claire has accidentally left her Twitter account open on my computer, so if you'd excuse me, there is some fun to be had!

Yeah, It's Been Forever

I know, I know. Don't hate me!

There's quite a bit to cover. You see, I've actually been doing things, as well as heavily concentrating on not doing things. 

I started at the Women's Institute for Freedom of the Press.  It's a pretty awesome set-up, and I'm enjoying taking the metro back and forth because of the amazing people-watching it provides. If you are looking for crazy, your first stop should be the red line. Really. At WIFP, One other intern started with me, and three more will join us on Wednesday. I'll be able to contribute to the quarterly newsletter, and I can hardly wait to start digging into articles. For now, however, we're doing a lot of book keeping and updating of the website. 

The fam, plus one, headed up to Otis to kick off the summer. The weather? Warm! The water? Freezing. Because of this I decided to dedicate the majority of my time to my friends Phillip Roth and Harlan Coben, supported by the hammock. I was very loyal the whole weekend. I did, however, get to reunite with my favorite man-made object of all time, the jet-ski. Because Claire is far more brave than I am, I got the opportunity to take her disking and skiing. When you operate three different water-crafts in a long weekend, you know summer has officially begun. 

Oh, and it also helps if you have really strange tan lines. Then summer has REALLY begun. 

Start to Summer

It's summer. It may not feel that way, because pants are occasionally necessary for warmth purposes...but all the same, I have no school. 

So it's summer. 

As usual I'm going through the motions of reacquainting myself to the lavish home lifestyle, which includes showering without shoes on and sleeping a whole heck of a lot. Yesterday, however, I hopped (slunk) out of bed at 6:30 and metro-ed down to D.C. to attend a panel on the future of the profit structure for newspapers hosted by the New America Foundation and the Washington Monthly. It was interesting to see seasoned newspaper men clash with independent media champions and business people throw in their two cents about the funding and collapse of newspapers. Senator Ben Cardin talked a bit about his newspaper revitalization bill.  I'm not sure about how effective it will be, but at least the sentiment is there. 

I felt a little out of my league. But it was kind of awesome. I should take advantage of the city like this more often. 

ALSO

I don't think the college is ever going to post my final grades, because they want to wait as lonngggg as possible and torture me into certain insanity. 

My application for my politics double major was approved. However, it appears that I will have to take 6 credits of a science to fulfill the liberal arts requirement. 

WAIT WHAT?!

Oh dear God. This could get ugly. 

Uncool. 

I think I'm going to go watch some mindless television and avoid thinking about the horror that would be me actually taking two science courses during my undergraduate career. 

I thought the whole point of this "liberal arts" deal was the avoidance of any sort of science. Screw well-roundedness. I'd rather be wholly limited in my knowledge scope, thank you very much. 

At least I satisfied all my 6 math credits through AP courses. 

I would have a heart attack if someone told me I had to take Calculus II.