Finally, I decided, what the heck. All the crew kids are at practice right now, there's no one who could possibly make fun of my weakness and/or lack of skill. Claire can make fun of me after the fact.
So I hopped on, strapped my feet in, and tried it out. I employed all the technique I could remember from our sculling class, so as not to paralyze myself and/or destroy my knees for good. It was a good workout. I liked the combination of cardio and strength. In that way it reminded me of swimming, in the way my mind drifts as the minutes tick by. It was fun.
Then, I struggled for like 2 minutes trying to figure out how to UNstrap my feet from the erg. I kind of ended up trying to wiggle my feet out of it while pulling like crazy. It was graceful. I told myself no one saw.
But here's the thing. I got up from my desk chair a few minutes ago and began to hop down the stairs.
Ow.
OW
OW OW OW
MY THIGHS
NOT COOL
So there's my most recent run-in with rowing.
Otherwise, I'm finishing up classes. I had my last official journalism research class today, which felt strangely sad. Even though I still have the 20 pager looming over my head, I was sad to see it end.
With said 20-pager, I've been writing a lot about blogging, and how much it means to people. How blogging is helping people through disease and daily life. Sure, I love blogging. But I'm not sure that's as much about therapy for me as it is about self-centeredness. Mainly blogging helps me organize my thoughts. Putting failure and success into blog posts makes it all manageable and palatable. A deadline looms less darkly when it's being complained about on the Internet.
There's no cause to my blog. I'm not a mother, a cancer patient, an activist, or a personality. I wonder what I'm contributing. I'm a college student. While I talk about laundry and getting my feet stuck in ergs, other bloggers are providing insight into the fabric of humanity.
I'm not sure what I'm getting at here, but I think it's that I'm accepting that things don't always have to matter. I can write just to write. I can write to assure my family members and friends that I actually haven't disappeared off the face of the earth.
That being said, I can also write to procrastinate. And if I look deeply inside myself, and at the minimized windows on my computer screen, I can tell that that's exactly what I'm doing.
Hey! Honesty.
