"Right now you can push yourself," he said. "There's going to be a point where you just can't push your body to do the things you want it to anymore."
I decided to join the crew team.
Last year I wasn't an athlete anymore. I woke up every morning feeling frustrated with my body. That's sad, and that's a little twisted, but that's the truth. It wasn't the fact that I'd gained weight, exactly, but the fact that I didn't feel strong anymore. My shoulders weren't tense from exertion, they were tense from stress and from going day to day with a focus that was entirely singular and at the same time extremely fragmented.
My life was centered around journalism, resume building, and fear of academic failure. There was no point in my day where the fear of missing a deadline or botching a quote wasn't on my mind. I was happy in Ithaca, but at the same time there was a something entirely off balance.
I discovered politics second semester. I realized it was something I wanted, and that maybe my path would not take me to a newspaper or a magazine.
Today we raced for the first time. The top two novice boats went head to head for a 4k. Half way through you realize that you don't really see anything. The sound of oar locks thunking and water rushing and your coxswain yelling and your legs screaming takes precedence over sight. It's a blur and it's furious and all you can do is keep breathing and think you must be close, you're almost there, even when you're not.
I can still push my body. I know I can push it farther.
Being a part of a team and pushing my self makes me better. It makes me feel stronger when I get out of bed in the morning, when I write a paper, when I'm searching for an interview, or reading a case.
I'm figuring out what I want to do as I go. For now, I know I love to write. I know I want to be part of the change, and not just the observer. I know that the median GPA for Yale Law School's class of 2011 was 3.90 and the low was 3.51. I know that I love to laugh with my friends and curl up in bed with a mug of tea on rainy days.
I think I'll take it from there.
