You see, I thought I should check this out, because I think Gwyneth and I have a lot in common. We are both blondes. We are both relatively tall. My mother also appeared in the Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants 2. Yeah, Blythe Danner is an Emmy and Tony award-winning actress, but because I have an aversion to research right now, a low-grossing sequel that I TOTALLY SAW is all that is coming to mind. I will probably not marry the front man of alt-rock group, because I am still under the impression that men that wear tighter pants than I are gay. I will probably not name my child after a fruit. Instead, I will choose a terrible trendy name that my parents will totally hate, like Madison.
Despite those minor differences, I was sure I could learn from GOOP, because I am an impressionable young teenager, and I am supposed to model myself after those skinny beautiful people on-screen.
I automatically LOVED this website because it has an annoying but calming intro. It encouraged me to "nourish my inner aspect."
No. Just no. What does that even mean?
Exploring the site, Gwyneth shares a lovely cookie recipe that she received when her BFF Kathy Lee Joel and her charming husband "William" came over for dinner. Yes, in Gwyneth Paltrow's world, Billy Joel is William. Seriously. In another section, she directly asks me if I am "stuck in a feedback loop of tension and unrest." Obviously. I then get the details of her post-holidays detox diet. Which I needed. Um, gross.
So in the end, I think I am a better person for having explored GOOP. I think I've written the longest post ever on this blog, and it wasn't even about me. It's about someone who writes an advice blog...someone who thought making Shallow Hal was a good idea.
In the world I actually live in, today I hung out with the friend I've had since second grade and went to swim practice. It doesn't provide for extremely entertaining blogs, but I'm pretty sure friend A is way more fun to hang out with than William Joel.
