Lists

I was obsessed with that list by the time I was nine years old. It was posted weekly, sometimes even more than that. I would stand there dripping, sometimes multiple times in a day, flipping through it. Counting seconds, calculating differences. Sometimes I would go back just to see my name at number one, or plot ways to get out of number two or three.

That list was the swim team top times list. Every event. Every age group. And I loved that list. By the time I was older and didn't fly to the top as easily, I checked it less frequently. But then I started using it to estimate our chances for the next week. I was a coach, and I was plotting ways to get us out of number six or five.

I have a new list. This one has highlighter. It will be changed every Wednesday. It will tell me where I stand. It will tell me if I have to re-do a test piece. It will tell me who I have to beat, and who I lost to last week. Yesterday I saw it for the first time and felt the same rush of seeing who I was above, and who I was below. I was especially excited to see that I'd done well enough to move on to the 5k test on Monday.

Monday is the first official day on the season. The insanity begins. I'm going to work hard, get stronger, and get faster.

And I am already obsessed with that list.