It's In Reach

Monday I attended a reception on Capitol Hill. I shook hands and took cards from all sorts of people--from Estonia, to Tanzania, to Mexico, to Texas. I was the youngest person in the room by a minimum of ten years. I was also definitely the tallest. This internship has given me so much already, and I know I am lucky. One reason I know? I am the only intern everywhere I go. I am lucky that my bosses bring me along. It's not typical, and it's not expected. I am very, very lucky.

My responsibilities entailed snatching up anyone who looked awkward, hesitant to approach anyone. Usually, this IS me. I should let you know that I am horrible at meeting people. Actually, terrible. Small talk and tennis are two things I will never master.Also, the language barrier sometimes made things even more difficult. But, I sucked up the awkward and got over it. I'm an adult!

As strange as it is being the undergrad in a sea of PhDs, yesterday grounded something for me. It was an amazing feeling to introduce myself as someone affiliated with an organization. Two months ago I knew absolutely nothing about transparency or the non-profit advocacy world. I'm learning, getting better each day, and part of me knows I could do this. I. Could. DO. This. For so long, especially as a politics major, I've had only a fuzzy vision of what the day to day political and policy world entailed. I knew theory, textbooks, the arguments over cable news, but I couldn't see what spending a day in the office would be like, how long 9 to 5 feels, if it actually ever feels like what you're doing makes a difference. The biggest question I had in my mind was if I would ever be able to be taken seriously.

That evening it was evident that I was very young, but people still listened when I talked, nodded sometimes in agreement, and didn't try to escape my incoherent babbling. I'm so far away from being an expert at anything, but I've gained confidence that I could. I left the reception late and walked to Union Station to metro home. I walked past Senate office buildings, through manicured little gardens, and fancy statues. Standing in front of Union Station feels no different to me than gawking at the ornate decorations of Europe. There's that same sense of grandeur. The difference now is that I feel like I could live within it, hopefully without entirely sacrificing that childhood-mystery we all at some point feel for cities.

At the end of August, I'll head back to school one last time and relish in my cocoon. Ithaca College is one of my favorite places on earth. But by May, I think I'll be just enough prepared to break free.